Psychedelic.

Update 5 pm

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 17:09:25 -0400

SHE PEED IN THE POTTY! ONCE!

…She has to do it nine more times to get the hang of it and it’s already 5 pm. -_-

At least Max has been less inclined to act like I’m trying to poison him whenever I feed him. He’s like a kneazle. Or is it crups that are really suspicious?

Update 11:30 am

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 11:36:56 -0400

She has peed on the floor twice.

She has thrown her potty. The one she was so crazy about a couple weeks ago. Maybe she thought it was a toy.

She has screamed for her daddy (“DAAAADDDYYYY!”) whilst sitting upon said potty. She always asks for the parent that isn’t currently causing her grief.

She has brought me a diaper to put on her.

She tried to put a diaper on herself.

At least one bit of the 3 day potty training method requires her to clean up her own pee. Silver lining.

The Potty Training Chronicles, Pt.1

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 07:08:00 -0400

6:45 am

It’s one of those rare times that I’m up before my daughter. I figure it’s a good day for it, because I have to prepare myself mentally for what’s ahead.

We’re potty training. For reals.

Claudia had her second birthday in July. I got her a potty seat and a step stool just before her birthday. It’s not that I’m in any particular rush to get her started; I’m not CRAZY about changing diapers or anything, but I figured, at the time, that I may as well get her familiar with the whole thing. She’s been following me into the bathroom long enough to know what goes on in there.

(Instagrammed proof of her open mind)

She was cool with sitting on it. Would even go in the bathroom and put it on the toilet herself and sit there, albeit fully clothed and without actually depositing anything in there. But she wasn’t staunchly against it or anything. No rush. Let her test the toilet waters, so to speak.

And then, each time she peed in her diaper, she began undressing herself and removing her diaper, sometimes bringing you a fresh one to put on her. She’s doing this thing where she sort of goes into the other room and just hangs out and plays quietly (with her feet, usually), or occasionally goes down for her nap. And sometimes, she goes into another room quietly and emerges completely nude. If she was going to be so acutely aware of when she’d peed herself and how uncomfortable it is to pee yourself, I figured I’d actually give it a go and use the 3 day potty training method. It requires me to spend the first day at home (DONE!), and to have her run around bare bottomed all day. Just as well, since this appears to be her preference anyway. I’ll have a lot of annoying things to contend with today, but chief among them? Keeping Max, the 11 month old, from playing with the portable potty. They fight over who gets to play with it.

Claudia is now bare bottomed and is having her cereal. Lord beer me strength.

srslytheblog: This is the greatest paparazzi picture of all...

Sat, 04 Aug 2012 14:04:03 -0400

srslytheblog:

This is the greatest paparazzi picture of all time. Jason Segel- we love you, relate to you. We know you have a thing going with White Michelle Williams, and we wish you the best. But if you ever need a few friends to be hungover with, call us.

WHITE MICHELLE WILLIAMS?!! rotflmao *expires*

bookfessions: Source:biancasarai

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 11:21:52 -0400

bookfessions:

Source:biancasarai

Bear with me.

Tue, 31 Jul 2012 10:57:47 -0400

I think some of my straight-haired friends will think this is silly. And it is, I guess, on some level. Because it’s about my hair.

I was just over at curlynikki.com, looking at this post (I <3 you, Bloglovin.). The author of that particular post was talking about how she was having a couple bad hair days; she hated her hair in that moment, and she coveted others’ hair (even her daughter - only to find that often, other people coveted HER hair!). And it reminded me of a really ugly moment I had with myself a couple months ago.

So I was on YouTube, doing some work, which involved watching some of Andrea’sChoice. If you’ve never seen Andrea, she’s basically drop dead gorgeous. She has beautiful long flowy hair. And I had a prepubescent 12-year-old freak out moment. Why couldn’t I be as pretty as heerrrrr. I hate my hair! I think I actually said to myself, OUT LOUD, “I hate my stupid (n-word) hair.”

It was an ugly, ugly moment. No bueno at all. Can’t believe I said that.

Being black and Puerto Rican, my natural hair is very curly. But it’s only in the last couple of years I’ve even known what it looks like, because I had relaxers to straighten it since I was five. I was never able to grow the long beautiful hair that all the pretty girls had because I was nuking my hair with chemicals every 2 months, and then blasting it with heat. I believed, for a LONG time, that I was ugly. If all you’re told when you’re young is that you’re ugly because your hair is nappy, or that you’ll never have pretty hands because you have your father’s hands, or that you’ll never find a husband if you bite your nails, what else are you supposed to believe about yourself? (For the record, my husband didn’t even notice that I bite my nails until I told him. So take that, fifth grade teacher.) I’ve stopped relaxing it for about 5 years, stopped using texturizers (a mini-relaxer) about 2 years ago, but was still not in a place where I could accept my natural self.

So following that thoroughly damaging and racist ejaculation, born of years of messed-up thinking, I spent the next 2 hours washing and blow-drying my hair straight. (YES that takes me 2 whole hours. Ridiculous.) It had been a long while, about a year or so, since the last time I’d worn it straight, and I was pleased to see it longer than I’d ever seen it in a more or less healthy state (meaning not with 5 or 6 inches of fried ends). Felt good about myself. Why was it that I couldn’t feel good about myself without spending hours trying to change me?

Since then I’ve learned to properly manage my natural hair, and I haven’t pressed it out since. I have good hair days and bad hair days, but good ones for the most part. And now I LOVE the way my hair looks, and I can honestly say (not every day, mind you! ;) ) that I like the way I look. I don’t look in mirrors anymore and complain. I don’t shy away from mirrors anymore. I don’t need my hair to be straight to feel good about myself.

One interesting bit about this is my daughter.

She is 2 years old today. As you can see, she’s fairer than me, and while her hair is also curly like mine, it isn’t as curly or thick, and it’s lighter. Her eyes are lighter than mine too. She has the physical attributes that I wanted when I was young, what I associated with beauty. When I imagined having a daughter, I of course imagined her like me: dark-skinned and dark-haired with a little fro. I am so grateful that before I became her mother, I let go of (some) of those expectations of beauty. I don’t see her as light or dark until someone points it out (usually when I am mistaken for her nanny. Seriously.). I don’t associate her beauty with her skin color or hair texture, and I hope that means on I’m track to raise a daughter who loves herself as she is.

tyleroakley: “Are You That Somebody That I Used to...

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 16:34:56 -0400

tyleroakley:

“Are You That Somebody That I Used to Know?”

Aaliyah vs. Gotye Mashup (DOWNLOAD)

"Because the thing is, there’s a comic out there for everyone. Reducing comics to simply superhero..."

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 17:03:26 -0400

“Because the thing is, there’s a comic out there for everyone. Reducing comics to simply superhero stories is doing the medium a disservice. And that’s what comics is: a medium. There are crime comics and horror comics (Criminal and Lock & Key), sci-fi comics and adventure comics (Saga and The Sixth Gun). There are spy comics and historical non-fiction comics (Queen & Country and Green River Killer), romance comics and naval-gazing memoir comics (Scott Pilgrim and Blankets). There are even comics for your mom (don’t look at me, I don’t know what you’re mom likes). I’m starting to sound like Doctor Seuss. You get the picture.”

- Everything’s Coming Up Comics! (via bookriot)

dotcore: Fire Starters.by Michelle Simpson. CYNDAQUIL!

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 16:37:36 -0400

dotcore:

Fire Starters.
by Michelle Simpson.

CYNDAQUIL!

amandaonwriting: Lie vs. Lay

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:20:42 -0400

amandaonwriting:

Lie vs. Lay

Why are you always so nonchalant and uninterested in things,...

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 07:09:20 -0400

Why are you always so nonchalant and uninterested in things, Joseph Gordon-Levitt?

Can’t believe that’s the kid from Angels in the Outfield.

sexuardo: “It’s all right to love someone who doesn’t love you...

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 07:16:39 -0400

sexuardo:

“It’s all right to love someone who doesn’t love you back, as long as they’re worth you loving them. As long as they deserve it.”

I cannot agree with this. They may be worthy of love as a person; them not loving you back does not make them innately bad. But it is not all right, because someone who doesn’t love you back probably never will, and love that isn’t reciprocated is one of the crappiest things there is. And in that time that you spend loving them, you waste time you could have spent loving yourself. And loving yourself often leads to someone loving you.

Re: Family Life: Bad Smells.

Fri, 13 Jul 2012 18:49:09 -0400

1 - Poop

a - toddler, not unlike grown up poop. In fact, it is grown up poop.

b - breastfed baby poop. Rather pleasant actually, but still. Poop.

c - Cat.

2 - Vomit

a - young breastfed baby. EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME.

b - older formula fed baby. Smellier. Often on bedsheets.

c - your own vomit, in various configurations, everyday for about 3 months. (See 3a).

d - Cat.

3 - Toilet

a - might not realize how stinky they can get until you have your face in it day after day.

4 - Diaper Pail

5 - Pee

a - Toddler pees through diaper, wets bed. That you are sleeping on her with.

b - Toddler removes diaper while you are taking a 2 minute shower. She sits in her stroller and pees.

c - Son pees on your shorts while you are undressing him for a bath.

d - Cat.

6 - Feet

a - Husband

b - Toddler

7 - Breath

a - Morning: self

b - Morning: toddler

c - Morning: husband

julieklausner: Please note: I only used the word “disturbing”...

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 10:23:11 -0400

julieklausner:

Please note: I only used the word “disturbing” because I never wanted a son who’d grow up to be like Eddie Izzard.

I would love it if my son grew up to be like Eddie Izzard. He would use all the cosmetics I buy but never use.

I seriously just applauded.

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 10:21:09 -0400

I seriously just applauded.

pearmama: I love this song and I love this video and I love...

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 10:19:32 -0400

pearmama:

I love this song and I love this video and I love Bryan Tanaka.

I just miss when famous people wore pants.

tyleroakley: folkinz: “So, like, right now for example. The...

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 10:14:11 -0400

tyleroakley:

folkinz:

“So, like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, “What about the strain on our resources?” Well, it’s like when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. ‘cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that, like, did not R.S.V.P. I was, like, totally buggin.’ I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion, may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.” - Cher Horowitz

If you don’t have this memorized, your priorities are messed up.

Word! I have this movie MEMORIZED FOR REALS. Don’t know if that’s good or bad…but it’s me.

Love that candle. flaminghomer: I don’t entertain much. Usually...

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 10:12:31 -0400

Love that candle.

flaminghomer:

I don’t entertain much. Usually it’s just soup for one, salad for one, wine for three.

A Sea of Penelopes

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 08:29:00 -0400

So Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to a little girl, and they hath dubbed the girl child Penelope Scotland. Let’s ignore the middle name, as celebrities have been naming their progeny after countries and land masses for years, and focus on that first one. It’s MY first name. (And congratulations to them, because new baby smell! Yay. And blood clots, and post-partum hair loss, and constipation. Good fun.)

Tina Fey had a girl last year, and also named her Penelope. Like any two VERY different celebrities, Tina Fey (who I LOVE) and Kourtney Kardashian (who I kinda like; my favorite is Khloe. Don’t judge me for having a favorite.) have the power to either make people love them or hate them intensely. And, of course, have the power to impact the world. Tina Fey inadvertently swung a presidential election and Kourtney, along with her family, is systematically destroying the letter C. There will probably be an uptick in the amount of little baby girls to be named Penelope. I don’t know how I feel about this.

When I was younger, I HATED my name. I got teased for it constantly. I wasn’t sure it suited me, because every girl I saw on TV with the same name as me was a cute red-haired freckled white girl, which I was not.

“Penny? That’s your name?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I call you Quarter? I’ll call you Nickel.”

“Haha Nickel.”

“What’s it short for?”

“Penelope.”

“PeneLOHpe?”

“No, PenEHlope.”

“I don’t know anyone with that name.”

“Uh, Penelope Ann Miller. From Kindergarten Cop.”

It was all this kind of stuff my whole life. For a time I insisted upon being addressed by my middle name (Dawn). That failed. (Everything failed when I was 12.) When I was fifteen, in a fit of “rebellion” and “self-discovery”, I was going to change everything about myself. Hair, clothes, everything. I only succeeded in changing the spelling of my nickname. And not even everyone uses it. (I prefer how “Pennie” looks anyway. And you wouldn’t believe how many times it’s been misspelled.) At my first job, which was at a McDonald’s, my first check was made out to “Penelope Cruz.” My idiot manager, who had my SOCIAL SECURITY CARD ON FILE, was genuinely shocked that my last name was not Cruz. I had to cash my checks out of the register for the better part of two months. So Penelope Cruz can suck it. (By the way, I am the namesake of my mother’s long lost dog. So it’s not like the origin of my name is sweet or noble, as if I was named after a grandmother or the first woman in the Cabinet. I’m named after a fucking DOG.)

I’ve since made peace with my name. It’s not so bad that I wanted to change it when I turned 18. It’s just part of me, I guess. I also think it’s sufficiently nerdy to go along with my nerdy personality. I sort of imagine that Penelope is a female equivalent to a name like Eugene; I can’t help but picture Eugene from Grease when I think of it.

See what I mean?

So I don’t really know how I feel about the sea of Penelopes that will probably follow this celebrity baby-naming trend. (When it happens more than once, it becomes a trend in Hollywood, right? And speaking of Hollywood, my father’s last name is Wood, and he joked about naming me Holly. And I don’t even HAVE my father’s last name. Yep, my parents are first-rate indeed.) I’ve learned to like its originality and uniqueness. I have only met one other person my whole life with my name, and she’s a little kid, so it’s not like there was a girl in the other fifth grade class named Penelope, or not even a girl in the other fifth grade class who had a cousin in the Dominican Republic who had a baby named Penelope. That’s how anomalous the name has been for me. Does this mean, when I’m forty or so and my kids are teenagers, there will be a handful of kids in their school named Penelope, and something about myself that I once thought was awful and then special will be just…nothing at all?

No, it’s more likely that I’ll spend a bunch of times at PTA meetings and birthday parties being asked stupid questions about my name, and complaining to my husband about them in the car on the way home. Because that’s how most things end up. If you knew how much I whined to my husband, you’d kick me in the vagina.

That is such a nice looking nail salon. They should all be like...

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 10:10:27 -0400

That is such a nice looking nail salon. They should all be like that. Instead of harsh lighting and Top 40 radio.

srslytheblog:

NEW SRSLY! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

Alex hasn’t had to make a decision this important since Tom Cruise asked her to sign a marriage contract in 2006.